In The Shadow Of Our Father
by L.S.H
Summary: Even though Uther is dead he is very much alive in them both. The years they've tried to deny it but the truth is as long as they both shall live, Uther will never truly be dead. Sequel to Forgiveness Of A King


Title: In The Shadow Of Our Father

Author: L.S.H

Pairing: Arthur/Merlin

Warnings: Mention of child abuse, torture/imprisonment and Series 4 spoilers

Summary: Even though Uther is dead he is very much alive in them both. The years they've tried to deny it but the truth is as long as they both shall live, Uther will never truly be dead.

Notes: I'm going to continue with this series because it has a lot of promise and I've fallen in love with Morgana's character again after the fourth series so I wanted to factor her into this work but she isn't going to be a villain. Merlin = not mine. I'm not sure where people from outside of the UK are up to on Merlin. The fourth series has been and gone (*sheds tear* hurry up series 5!) where I am so there will be a few little but important spoilers in this that may confuse you completely and I really hope I don't ruin it for any of you, then again you might not even notice them, they're quite subtle. Hope you like!

It's easier to get into the castle than it ever has been. Even though she now has free passage in the realm of Camelot she doubts she's completely welcome in the castle. Arthur tends to hold a grudge longer than her, his anger stretching every corner of the five kingdoms and his wrath felt all over the land. She fears her brother at the best of times and rightly so; he is a force to be reckoned with and it scares her to see the anger and coldness so like Uther's in his eyes more than it does to see it in her own.

Even though Uther is dead he is very much alive in them both. The years they've tried to deny it but the truth is as long as they both shall live, Uther will never truly be dead. In the years when she hungered for the throne, her birthright, to avenge her sister's death. Those were the years when she denied Uther's presence in her, shook it off in disgust, those years when Arthur was still a young man who was beginning to learn the hardships of being King, over those years when he became more like Uther and his eyes began to slowly turn cold along with his heart. She blamed Uther – still does, he left anger and hatred behind him, which curled within them both. But she found solace in the Old Religion, found her true destiny as High Priestess of The Old Religion, keeper of the Isle of The Blessed.

Arthur had Merlin.

But then Emrys came to her begging for shelter, to lose himself in the same magic, to escape his King. She didn't deny him this. He had saved her life from Arthur's wrath and given her peace, showing her the destiny she could carry out through the Crystal Caves. He calmed her anger and hatred, proving to her that their people could have the same peace and freedom without bloodshed. And in return he asked for forgiveness. It took time but Morgana eventually forgave him.

So when Merlin left to escape Arthur's knights, to Cenred's kingdom, she refused to give Merlin's location. She may be blood related to Arthur but Merlin was still very much her Kin.

But in the end Merlin returned of his own accord. She knew half of it was because he was forced, he couldn't stay hidden for long, Arthur was High King now - even though he still had problems controlling King Alined's realm - he would eventually find Merlin. Emrys was the most powerful magic user, there was no doubt about that, he could crush an army if he wished so what was a few of the best Knights in the land. But the other half was because he couldn't stay away.

She isn't here on the King's orders, she's here of her own choice. When she walks into the throne room, and sees Arthur leaning over the maps alone, she knows he is expecting her.

Excalibur at his side as always.

She doesn't bother to quiet her steps as she walks to sit on the throne, a strange sense of déjà vu as she sits on it. The last time she was in this room she had been defeated and her then lover killed by Arthur, she also remembers the bad memories of Uther and the momentary loss of her powers.

She realises then that the reason it was so easy to get in is because Arthur was focusing on nothing getting out. She knows this isn't for her.

"Dear Brother, it's been too long."

Arthur doesn't turn still focused on the maps, he no longer plays along with her games like he use to and it annoys her, she misses their banter and she misses the rivalry between them. They would always compete for Uther's attentions when they were younger and while she got the smiles and expensive dresses, Arthur got the bruises from a leather belt and the looks of disappointment. They still seem to compete like Uther is still there, watch their every move, like they still want his approval. Morgana may have shunned Uther as a Father but she still seeks this from him even in death. But Arthur never stopped and Morgana feels so much sorrow for him.

"Morgana, I fear I cannot entertain your need for childish prattle tonight. I have work to do."

"Oh dear." She says milking the words with fake concern, which she does so well. "What Kingdom refuses you Arthur do tell, I don't see why they try since you have four other Armies at your beck and call along with your loyal knights who have been on a man hunt these past weeks. I'm sure they'll have no problem destroying a defiant King if they can hunt down a man they called a friend like a dog." The quick temper and the sharp tongue - something they both got from Uther.

Arthur doesn't turn quickly drawing his sword like he would when he was younger – no. He faces her with grace, eyes so very cold and she fears; the kind of fear when she knew not of Emrys's identity and when all she knew was he was her doom and when his very name would make her afraid and his face would make her tremble.

This isn't the young King Arthur; this is The High King of Avalon, Uther's son. But tonight she isn't Morgana, High Priestess of The Old Religion, tonight she is Morgana Pendragon.

"Careful My Lady." Arthur's voice is a quiet hiss and it's like a stab of ice through her heart. "I don't need my Knights or the Armies of _my _Kingdom to put you in your place."

It's true. Fear will keep her at bay and Excalibur, the sword that no magic not even Emrys's can touch. Arthur is nearly invincible with it and he will be soon once Alined's Kingdom yields to him. Arthur is a great King and she has no doubt he will be fairer than Uther ever was, but will be (is) so much more dangerous.

She sighs to cover up her fear. "I didn't come hear to argue Arthur you must know that." Arthur looks at her with his cold as ice blue eyes and she feels like every thing is being sucked from her and she only just represses a shiver. "I came here for Merlin's sake." And because she really can't stop herself. "I thought you'd have him down in those dungeons for weeks maybe months."

Arthur's face is blank when he answers looking down at his maps, quickly losing interest. "I'd be happy to lock you in those dungeons Morgana, since you're so interested." It's a threat he'd go through with but a simple dungeon could never hold her just like it couldn't hold Emrys yet he had stayed there for days starving just so he could get Arthur's forgiveness.

She walks forward to lean on the table, opposite Arthur, mirroring his position. Arthur meets her eye, an eyebrow raised in silent question.

"I'm not here to fight Arthur, you know this." She exhales deeply.

"You need to know there wasn't a day that went by he didn't think of you, that he did regret his decision. He loves you Arthur."

Arthur's face is still as blank as ever, eyes stone cold.

It's only half of what she came to say she wants Merlin to not face anymore of Arthur's anger but in the silence she plucks up the courage to speak out.

"Do you think of him?"

He knows what – who she's talking about, but looks down at his maps. "Of course." He answers after a while.

She puts a comforting hand on his shoulder and she hates how this is the first time they've touched in years. They were so close once and she wishes that she knew of their family bonds in those days and she blames Uther that they never got to have that true brother and sister relationship. "You're a better man than our father. Always were." Words said so long ago, but she still remembers them. Only with a slight difference now.

Arthur laughs, it's cold and humourless and she can't stop flinching.

"I beg to differ." A beat. "As are you Morgana."

Morgana exhales again and it feels like a weight has been lifted to hear someone else say that. She has her peace. But Arthur…

As long as Arthur will live, as long as he shall rule as long as he walks the halls of Camelot he will live with the shadow of Uther, never _in -_ Arthur is a better King than Uther ever was, but he'll never escape Uther's presence. Maybe Merlin will help ease Arthur's pain, teach him to love, bring back at least a little of the man Arthur once was, yes Merlin will do that, she knows.

He gives her his seal – and she tries not to read into it - in case she meets any guards on her way out which she doesn't doubt she will. And as she turns to go she hears Arthur's cold voice echoing through the hall even though it isn't raised, not a request, an order. "And Morgana, I would appreciate you'd call me by my proper title."

If Morgana had been younger in the days when she knew not of her magic she would have scoffed or smirked with a mock curtsy but no longer, she knows better.

"Yes, Sire." She bows solemnly.

And as she escapes into the night back to the Isle of the Blessed she leaves Morgana Pendragon behind and becomes Morgana, High Priestess of The Old Religion once more.

**Feedback would be lovely **

**L.S.H **


End file.
